faerycharmjulie (faerycharmjulie) wrote,
faerycharmjulie
faerycharmjulie

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Feeling Hopeless...

Feeling really blue and hopeless about things. As someone reads this, IF someone reads this *lol* you are probably thinking well what 'things'? Things can be anything.

Down about my job. I know its time to move on. Time for a change. I had a fall at work. On saturday morning (May 3) while service
residents their breakfast. I stepped onto a puddle of water that I did not see and down I went! I landed with my right foot underneath me.
Which I already have nerve damage on that foot and leg. So now it really doesn't feel great having it throbbing all day long. Then my right shoulder is really bugging me. I already have had frozen shoulder on that side that I had to have therapy for. All along my left side - hip, pelvic area, from my
lower ribs up to my shoulder blade - all the muscles along there are not happy. I'm a 47 year old C.N.A.

I have just been getting the feeling lately that it is time to move on to something else. I'm not happy in this work anymore. Constantly hurting my lower back because of all the lifting, pushing, pulling...

I have my home crafts I love to make and sell - hand poured candles, natural loose incense and scented incense sticks, bed & bath sachets, aromatherapy oils.
But that didn't take off like I wanted it to either. I still do love creating them though! *lol*

I also for the moment still have my Passion Parties home business. Which is where I actually want to be. That is what I want to be doing full time. But
it has not taken off like I dreamed.

So what do I do? How can I work harder at Passion Parties and bring it to light?
Everything just feels so hopeless and like a lost cause.
I have bills to pay. I can't just quit my job. But I absolutely do not want to stay in nursing until I become the patient!

Then yesterday I saw two daddy long legs in with some of my starter house plants. They were in between my autumn colored giant daisies and my coleus. Walking over the top of my drying dandilions. So, I've been trying to find some info on the symbolic meaning of
daddy long legs.

So far I've found: change, start of something new, greater vision, deeper relationships,
http://earthengirl.wordpress.com/2013/05/02/animal-medicine-daddy-longlegs/

And I have been doing prosperity exercise for the past month. Maybe there is something new on the horizon for me.
I also read on one site that the daddy long legs will suffer injury to be free. I have been having a lot of injuries at work...
Surely there is a better life out there just waiting for me. Right? Passion Parties is so uplifting, positive, accepting of all the different paths we are on, encouraging...  Nursing is the complete opposite for me. I feel like i'm beaten down and put in a cage! That can't be right. It doesn't feel right.
I've been a CNA for 8 years. Maybe that number 8 has a symbolic meaning too.

Tags: change, depression, work
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