I am not worrying. But just becoming more and more aware of all the things I have to take care of. I know everything will work out. The God and Goddess will provide. The Universe will arrange all that needs to be moved and arranged as long as I keep positive. The Lady will not fail me. I know this. I also know I have a lot of work to do. I've always had a worry-free outlook in times of crisis and something always comes about to save me. :)
13 years of crap in closets, etc... to clear out. Everything is in my husband's name. Even the bills that I pay. Such as internet service. So, I will probably loose that email address. Unless, maybe its possible to delete that account and re-open one in the same name after I open my account... I don't know. I don't even know if I will go with the same ISP. I've been looking over things a Verizon too. Right now our cell service is through Straight Talk. I might go through them. I guess t.v. is a luxury not a must. I am plenty happy watching my dvd movies. But I would have to buy a dvd player. *lol* oh yeah and the fact that I don't have a t.v. LOL!!
No furniture.. But it doesn't worry me to rough it for a bit. I know I'll have to build things up slowly. I will feel a lot better once I can get the house secured and know its mine. All the bills are due in 2 weeks. So, I might end up going without internet or having my phone cut off for a couple of weeks. That will be weird. My soon to be ex-husband said he can't afford all the bills by himself and will have to start shutting things off. Suuuuurrrre...
I'm making sure to document everything too. Just incase I need it on down the road. He already hasn't bought me any food in 3 days. He goes out to eat. Gets fast food and brings it home for himself, or fixes himself something. I can't eat the same food as him, because I have gluten sensitivity. So, when he fixes pot pies, cream of chicken, etc... thats not something that I can have. He had bought me some salad a day or so before I let him know I think I have found a place to move to, and some eggs. So I've been eating that. And I had some gluten free pasta that I made into a yummy summer pasta dish. But I'm tired of boiled eggs. And the salad is gone. I did break down and go buy 2 pork loins today for $1.29 :D
The money I have left out of my paycheck I need to spend on gas to get back and forth to work. And I'm hoping I the home owners/realtor let me put $200.00 down on the house tomorrow when I go look at it. ***fingers crossed***
I should save some money on the vehicle insurance. Surely insuring one car will be less than a boat, 2 motorcycles, a blazer, a pick up or two and my mustang. Yes, only one of those is mine. Oh yeah, theres also a camper.
I'm exciting to start my new beginning. A new journey! It has taken a long time for me to get to this place. A place where I can feel hopeful about going out on my own. A place where I can feel okay about giving up the material things I've accumulated from being married. My own stove, dishwasher, ... I can let go of those things now. Everything is going to be just fine. I am going to be alright. I'm going to be better. Every holiday, celebration, day off is not going to be ruined. Every time I'm in a good positive mood, is not going to be ruined. I'm not going to be a wounded heartbroken zombie all the time.
AND I'll totally have the privacy to do my rituals! woohoo!! I have no magickal space of my own right now. Thats probably one of the big reasons why I havent been actively practicing for the past could of years. Everything in my life has just felt out of balance and chaotic.
Goddess Bless )0(