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06 May 2014 @ 11:25 am
Feeling Hopeless...  
Feeling really blue and hopeless about things. As someone reads this, IF someone reads this *lol* you are probably thinking well what 'things'? Things can be anything.

Down about my job. I know its time to move on. Time for a change. I had a fall at work. On saturday morning (May 3) while service
residents their breakfast. I stepped onto a puddle of water that I did not see and down I went! I landed with my right foot underneath me.
Which I already have nerve damage on that foot and leg. So now it really doesn't feel great having it throbbing all day long. Then my right shoulder is really bugging me. I already have had frozen shoulder on that side that I had to have therapy for. All along my left side - hip, pelvic area, from my
lower ribs up to my shoulder blade - all the muscles along there are not happy. I'm a 47 year old C.N.A.

I have just been getting the feeling lately that it is time to move on to something else. I'm not happy in this work anymore. Constantly hurting my lower back because of all the lifting, pushing, pulling...

I have my home crafts I love to make and sell - hand poured candles, natural loose incense and scented incense sticks, bed & bath sachets, aromatherapy oils.
But that didn't take off like I wanted it to either. I still do love creating them though! *lol*

I also for the moment still have my Passion Parties home business. Which is where I actually want to be. That is what I want to be doing full time. But
it has not taken off like I dreamed.

So what do I do? How can I work harder at Passion Parties and bring it to light?
Everything just feels so hopeless and like a lost cause.
I have bills to pay. I can't just quit my job. But I absolutely do not want to stay in nursing until I become the patient!

Then yesterday I saw two daddy long legs in with some of my starter house plants. They were in between my autumn colored giant daisies and my coleus. Walking over the top of my drying dandilions. So, I've been trying to find some info on the symbolic meaning of
daddy long legs.

So far I've found: change, start of something new, greater vision, deeper relationships,
http://earthengirl.wordpress.com/2013/05/02/animal-medicine-daddy-longlegs/

And I have been doing prosperity exercise for the past month. Maybe there is something new on the horizon for me.
I also read on one site that the daddy long legs will suffer injury to be free. I have been having a lot of injuries at work...
Surely there is a better life out there just waiting for me. Right? Passion Parties is so uplifting, positive, accepting of all the different paths we are on, encouraging...  Nursing is the complete opposite for me. I feel like i'm beaten down and put in a cage! That can't be right. It doesn't feel right.
I've been a CNA for 8 years. Maybe that number 8 has a symbolic meaning too.

 
 
My Mood Is:: disappointeddisappointed
 
 
 
Jacquelynswtspice on May 6th, 2014 08:24 pm (UTC)
I read your posts hun!!

I'm sorry you are not where you want to be. Boy, do I know that feeling. And I know exactly what you mean about crafting businesses not taking off like we would like.

Regarding spiders, I found this -- The spider with her wondrous weaving skills is an aspect of Athene, the spinner of Fate, creatrix of destiny.

It was believed that the future could thus be read in a spider's web, if you knew how to read it.

According to First Nations' mythology, Grandmother Spider created the world. So Spider is a multicultural symbol of Creation.

This magickal knowing and weaving of the world and destiny is associated with Witches, who also reweave reality.

I wonder if Spider is also seen as a Wicca symbol because when cobwebs gather, it means worldly action is absent. And as Witches, we specialize in Other-worldly action!

A spider totem teaches you balance -- between past and future, physical and spirit, male and female. She is strength and gentleness combined. She awakens creative sensibilities and reminds you that the past is always interwoven with the future.

Spiders are the keepers of the primordial alphabet and can teach you how to write creatively. Her body is shaped like the number 8 and she has 8 legs, which is symbol of infinite possibilities of creation.
Her 8 legs represent the 4 winds of change and the 4 directions of the medicine wheel.

Spider's message is that you are an infinite being who will continue to weave patterns of life and living throughout time. Do not fail to see the eternal plan of creation.
faerycharmjuliefaerycharmjulie on May 6th, 2014 09:31 pm (UTC)
Feeling Hopeless...
((((Jacquelyn)))) I don't even have the words to tell you how much your comment means to me. I am so touched. ((((thank you)))
I kept turning away from all of the 'spider' symbolic links because I was not sure if daddy long legs is actually in the spider category. One page said its not. That they are not spiders, they are a 'harvestman' not a spider. Not 100% sure what that even means. *lol*

Your post is so much more informative than the info I found on google under 'symbolic meaning of daddy long legs'. I think I'll do more searching.

Fascinating that Athene is the spinner of fate and associated with crafts. And I've been doing an enormous amount of candle crafting...
I'll research more on spiders in wicca/paganism.
This is becoming very fascinating to me!

faerycharm roses


Euri Darenthorne: Serenenvr_existed on May 7th, 2014 02:51 am (UTC)
I actually read every post you make, though I don't comment as often.

I understand how you feel, sometimes, I feel like my job isn't the right job for me too, whenever I fail. Maybe you just needed a break. Like a long vacation or something? Or perhaps you need something new to motivate you at work. But then again, since you feel like your job is like a "cage" perhaps it's time to move on and look for other things to do (or sell).

I'll work out somehow, just believe it will. :D
faerycharmjuliefaerycharmjulie on May 7th, 2014 07:59 pm (UTC)
(((Thank you Euri)))) I just had a big vacation in March. *giggles* Ya know how you can just 'feel' that its time to move on... I know everything will work out the way it is meant to be ;)
Euri Darenthorne: Glitter Heartnvr_existed on May 8th, 2014 12:08 pm (UTC)
Here~ I made you a cute siggie~
I hope it will make you feel a bit better~

faerycharmjuliefaerycharmjulie on May 8th, 2014 09:52 pm (UTC)
omgosh!! I got a present!!*giggles* ((((thank you so much nvr_existed )))
You are fabulous! Hope you had a great day :)
siggie from Euri
Euri Darenthorne: Pixel - Kisses For Younvr_existed on May 8th, 2014 11:26 pm (UTC)
You're welcome~
Daughter of A Jedi: Spring Phyn (Lightest Of Purples & Bluesladyofavalon77 on May 10th, 2014 12:46 am (UTC)
aww I hope you're able you find a great new job *hugs* :)